As parents, we want the best for our family, so our children get our encouragement, love and support. But did you know there are other ways you can help empower your brood so they can achieve even more out of their life?
Model the Behaviour You Want to See
Children, especially the younger ones, are heavily influenced by the world around them. By modelling the behaviour that you want to see them reciprocate, they will learn how to behave themselves.
We all get frustrated and angry at times, and it’s important little ones know that having big feelings is a part of life, it’s just how they deal with them that counts. Get down to your child’s level and make them aware of how you want them to express these feelings, whether it be in a creative way, talking about it, or even if they need a break from what’s caused the feelings.
The same goes for attitude, if they witness positivity and someone who learns to seek out solutions to their problems, they will endeavour to do the same. With parents’ support and guidance, a child can focus on a positive mental attitude.
For example, thinking ‘this homework my teacher gave me is hard, I am going to ask for help’ rather than simply ‘I cannot do this’ and then giving up. Always validate your child’s feelings first, and then get to the root of the problem and help to solve it.
Ask Them What They Need
As adults we often sustain our children without thinking about it, providing meals, clothing and mental stimulations, but it’s also important for us to ask our children whether they need anything else from us.
Depending on their age it could be a hug, a talk, or just to sit down together and work out a solution to a problem.
No matter the issue, big or small, by asking a child if they need anything from us we are not only validating their feelings, we are also showing them that we are there for them. Remember to try and listen and not to interfere, most will want to problem solve and will ask for assistance if they need it.
Building Your Child’s Confidence
There are several ways parents or guardians can build up a child’s confidence.
I’m a huge believer in rewarding progress and listening, especially with younger children. If an older child tidies up without being prompted, or asks if they can help lay the table for dinner, praising them and positively reinforcing this behaviour will boost their feelings.
Younger children may benefit from a sticker reward chart where they can physically see that they are getting rewards for a certain situation being achieved. It can be as easy as getting dressed by themselves, tidying up their toys before bed, or achieving a weekly goal at home that you have requested from them.
No matter the chore or activity, if a child is behaving well and doing what you expect, then they should be told that this is good behaviour.
Summary
Remember to model behaviour and attitude of how you want your children to act, and watch as you all grow closer due to the empowerment that your positivity and guidance gives them.
Knowing that a parent is there when they need them is half of the battle. So if you’re already doing that for your family, as often as you’re able, then you’re already getting there.
Listening, getting on to their level, praising the good behaviour and making sure that any big feelings are validated are very important. This means you can build up a relationship with your children making them confident and able to open up to you about any issues they might have.
We all have difficult days and situations to deal with, but it’s how we cope in those times in front of our family that matter the most. Remember you can always leave the room, ask for a mental health break or go for a walk when you need to have a moment of clarity in your own mind.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt being a single parent, it’s that we all need to have positive reinforcement in our lives, whether we are big or small humans. So from one parent to another, you’re doing a great job, keep going! You’ve got this! (Even when you aren’t sure you have)
