There are lots of things people don't tell you about being pregnant. One being that the journey of getting pregnant isn't always the easiest. And another being accepting and adjusting to your new pregnant body can be really hard going.
My journey in becoming pregnant wasn't the hardest, but it was long. We had no complications, but for one reason or another, it took us almost three years to get pregnant. I'm mentioning this in the hope that you're able to appreciate my anguish and my honesty into accepting my pregnant body.
I've never been the most body confident person. Heck, I've never been confident in general really. Being confident in your own skin is one of the hardest things to do. I don't know many people who are 100% body confident, I don't actually know if it's possible. Being body confident on the best of days is difficult but when you're living in a new pregnant body that doesn't quite feel like your own it can be ten times as hard. When I look in the mirror I see my face, but I don't see my body. The body is someone I don't really recognise - It's such a weird feeling!
I'm conflicted because I understand that what's happening to me is a blooming glorious thing. It took long enough for me to get here and in ways, it's literally all I've ever wanted. The other half of me self sabotages and I'm filled with self-doubt.
Adjusting to my pregnant body - The physical changes.
My expanding stomach is getting heavier and heavier and more uncomfortable by the day. It takes me far too long to get off the sofa and quite frankly I'm repelled by my fitness levels. I'm also at that awkward stage in pregnancy where my 'regular clothes' are unwearable now. It feels like no matter what I wear, I never feel comfortable, nor does my new body shape feel flattered. My energy levels are diminishing and I'm the slowest I've ever been. In some ways, I feel like my body's doing everything it should be, but in others, I feel like it's letting me down. I struggle to walk and even the most simple of tasks take twice if not three times as long. I'm so tired! I'm not used to my body being like this. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Overcoming my pregnant body hangups.
Overcoming how I feel about my pregnant body isn't going to be easy & I'm sure it's not going to be linear. There'll be good days and bad days but there are a few things I'll be doing to try and overcome my negativities.
I'm going to put myself in the shoes of others. Never in a million years would I look at another pregnant woman and think her body looks alien. Pregnancy is a miracle and what our bodies are going through is nothing short of amazing! I really need to remember that when looking at and thinking about myself. I'm also going to be documenting my journey both on my blog, in a diary and in picture form. I'm hoping that seeing how my body expands and adjusts will make me feel strong and empowered. Finally, I'm going to be expressing my emotions and expressing how I'm feeling to others. It's good to talk!
Going forwards.
At the moment, although it feels alien, my body is doing the job it needs to do. This period of time isn't going to last forever and although I'm finding it difficult now, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. That being said, I can't help but feel guilty about the way I'm feeling. It's taken me years to get here and now I'm here I feel like I'm not appreciating everything my body is going through. I've got mum guilt before the baby's even here!
What do you think? Can you resonate with any of these conflicting feelings?
