So the time has come, my firstborn, the little girl that made me a mother starts BIG school this year.
Don’t ask me how I’m going to tackle getting three children fed, dressed and ready before 8:30 am, the baby is easy enough but the older two take an hour alone just to eat their cereal; il cross that bridge in September.
Back to my little “angel” starting reception, not only will she be starting but so will her brother; in the school nursery. I wonder what it’s like to spend a day without splitting up a fight or even better ACTUALLY being able to go shopping, with a trolley! Because I’ve definitely not been brave enough to do that for a while.
Let me give you a bit of background. Esmae, 4 and Harley, nearly 3 have the same biological father who has also never been in the picture. They do however carry his family name.
Filling out the school paperwork just before her induction evening it hit me, I’m going to have to have “the talk” They have always known they have a dad, they know his name, they know he isn’t around, what they didn’t know is that they didn’t have the same name as me but Instead had his.
Maybe that was a mistake on my behalf, but it just never came up before this.
I sat Esmae down at the table and explained simply enough for her to understand, she cried! “She didn’t want that name”. Mum guilt kicked in and I promised to speak to her teacher to see if she could use my name. She eventually came around to the idea when we decided she could have two names, her school name and her at home name; and both would be fine because they were hers.
School open evening came around and her brilliant teacher said she could learn whatever name she wanted, which was a huge relief.
In all honesty, I’m scared. I’m scared of them growing up, I’m scared of the other kids. After starting a new nursery last year there was a bullying incident with my daughter. Nothing got done about it so I took both Esmae and Harley straight out and they never went back. But the damage had been done and Esmae had lost all of her confidence at just three years old. I enrolled her back in her weekly drama class and not long after she was back to her bubbly little self. But what happens if it happens again? It isn’t as easy to just pull her out of school. I’m just hoping she will have a much better time than she did at nursery. She already has friends that’ll be starting in her class so I’m sure she will be fine.
We’ve already been uniform shopping, I think I’m more excited than them! We tried everything on when we got home, they were both strutting around the living room in there pinafore and shorts, it was one of those proud moments, the rush of love moments. They were growing up.
